Thursday, September 27, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Frustrated and uncertain
I'm sure you can guess from the title of this post that I am a bit unsettled tonight. Mainly because I am frustrated with my past present and future ! ... I look at my past and say to myself Amber you have wasted your youth.. you don't have a degree and your 23 years old, Your a failure according to this society. Quite honestly I don't really know what I want to do professionally... you want to know the honest truth... I want to be an artist and a stay at home wife... and eventually a mother. I also want to have a ministry to young guys in the military. I mean if you were looking at me and didn't know who I was or my personality you would say that I'm a loser, I haven't finished a degree or trade.
I've more or less dabbled in many areas of life. from pottery ,wedding photographer, camp counselor, to a restaurant slave. I feel as though I have failed in this society. Living on my own paying my own bills is hard , and its not easy figuring out what you want to do with your life when your just trying to survive day to day.
To the world I am a over all reject.
*I don't have a relationship and none on the horizon
*I don't have a career set in stone, nor do I have a clue as to what I truly want to settle in.
*I don't have a degree of any sort ( like nothing...)
*I've been a perpetual college student with no fancy piece of paper telling the world I have accomplished something in life.
*I have a crappy car that is on its last leg. rubbing in the fact that I'm a poor nobody
So there you have it .. be honest ... if you saw me would you think I'm a failure at this thing society calls the norm... or the expected life.
sorry for this long depressing rant but its just how I feel right now and I don't have anyone to talk to but my trusty ol blog. I"m sure this will all be much clearer in the morning, BUT for now I feel like my life has been a bit of a dull failure.. and that I haven't helped or changed or even influenced the lives around me.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
INSANITY
Can I say that my life is crazy ? ! Good glad to get that out there. :) I'm well into the 3rd week of classes and I"m pretty sure its going to be a crazy bumpy ride. I was silly and thought I could make some major life changes in the middle of a school year ... yeah I'm feeling the pinch now... its just a lil crazy.
~I've packed up my old place (took FOREVER) lol
~Moved into my new place (3 flights of stairs folks)
~Added a new class on top of my already full time aka 16 credits baby ! (can I say I'll be busy ?? )
~Got an interview for a new part time job( at a Dr. Office)
~Start my new part time job (next week)!!
~ I've been living on Yogurt, cereal, salsa/chips, and almonds (can I say I"m poor and haven't gone grocery shopping in a MONTH) .. or longer :(
~Had a financial aid scare ! .. it took 6 HOURS to fix it so I had all my ducks in a row to pay for school(almost had to drop out of school) = SCARY
~Had the muffler break on my car PLUS a few other problems with my car aka its leaking Oil SOMEHOW !
~HOMEWORe,HOMEWORK,HOMEWORK
~Projects GALORE !
~OH and coordinating my BIG family photo-shoot coming up in about a week and a half( SOO excited !! pictures to come !!! )
~AND to top it off I"m trying to lose 23 lbs and going to the gym 5 days a week..... I will say that going to the gym has been slacking .. :( and I"m feeling it people !! :P I need to get back there !!!!!
~So yeah that is just a taste of the insanity thats going on in my life !!
SO FAR :
~I've packed up my old place (took FOREVER) lol
~Moved into my new place (3 flights of stairs folks)
~Added a new class on top of my already full time aka 16 credits baby ! (can I say I'll be busy ?? )
~Got an interview for a new part time job( at a Dr. Office)
~Start my new part time job (next week)!!
~ I've been living on Yogurt, cereal, salsa/chips, and almonds (can I say I"m poor and haven't gone grocery shopping in a MONTH) .. or longer :(
~Had a financial aid scare ! .. it took 6 HOURS to fix it so I had all my ducks in a row to pay for school(almost had to drop out of school) = SCARY
~Had the muffler break on my car PLUS a few other problems with my car aka its leaking Oil SOMEHOW !
~HOMEWORe,HOMEWORK,HOMEWORK
~Projects GALORE !
~OH and coordinating my BIG family photo-shoot coming up in about a week and a half( SOO excited !! pictures to come !!! )
~AND to top it off I"m trying to lose 23 lbs and going to the gym 5 days a week..... I will say that going to the gym has been slacking .. :( and I"m feeling it people !! :P I need to get back there !!!!!
~So yeah that is just a taste of the insanity thats going on in my life !!
Friday, September 7, 2012
Exciting stuff .. aka MOVING
If I have already told you all that I am a girl with a gypsy soul I am sorry but I need to say it again... I am BEYOND excited that I have moved again lets than 8 months in my last place ... it seems I can't stay in the same house for more than a year for the most part... anyway I especially excited because I get to paint my room and I've NEVER gotten to do that before soooo here is some ideas I have for my room thus far.
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