I'm sure you can guess from the title of this post that I am a bit unsettled tonight. Mainly because I am frustrated with my past present and future ! ... I look at my past and say to myself Amber you have wasted your youth.. you don't have a degree and your 23 years old, Your a failure according to this society. Quite honestly I don't really know what I want to do professionally... you want to know the honest truth... I want to be an artist and a stay at home wife... and eventually a mother. I also want to have a ministry to young guys in the military. I mean if you were looking at me and didn't know who I was or my personality you would say that I'm a loser, I haven't finished a degree or trade.
I've more or less dabbled in many areas of life. from pottery ,wedding photographer, camp counselor, to a restaurant slave. I feel as though I have failed in this society. Living on my own paying my own bills is hard , and its not easy figuring out what you want to do with your life when your just trying to survive day to day.
To the world I am a over all reject.
*I don't have a relationship and none on the horizon
*I don't have a career set in stone, nor do I have a clue as to what I truly want to settle in.
*I don't have a degree of any sort ( like nothing...)
*I've been a perpetual college student with no fancy piece of paper telling the world I have accomplished something in life.
*I have a crappy car that is on its last leg. rubbing in the fact that I'm a poor nobody
So there you have it .. be honest ... if you saw me would you think I'm a failure at this thing society calls the norm... or the expected life.
sorry for this long depressing rant but its just how I feel right now and I don't have anyone to talk to but my trusty ol blog. I"m sure this will all be much clearer in the morning, BUT for now I feel like my life has been a bit of a dull failure.. and that I haven't helped or changed or even influenced the lives around me.
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