Thursday, September 27, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Frustrated and uncertain
I'm sure you can guess from the title of this post that I am a bit unsettled tonight. Mainly because I am frustrated with my past present and future ! ... I look at my past and say to myself Amber you have wasted your youth.. you don't have a degree and your 23 years old, Your a failure according to this society. Quite honestly I don't really know what I want to do professionally... you want to know the honest truth... I want to be an artist and a stay at home wife... and eventually a mother. I also want to have a ministry to young guys in the military. I mean if you were looking at me and didn't know who I was or my personality you would say that I'm a loser, I haven't finished a degree or trade.
I've more or less dabbled in many areas of life. from pottery ,wedding photographer, camp counselor, to a restaurant slave. I feel as though I have failed in this society. Living on my own paying my own bills is hard , and its not easy figuring out what you want to do with your life when your just trying to survive day to day.
To the world I am a over all reject.
*I don't have a relationship and none on the horizon
*I don't have a career set in stone, nor do I have a clue as to what I truly want to settle in.
*I don't have a degree of any sort ( like nothing...)
*I've been a perpetual college student with no fancy piece of paper telling the world I have accomplished something in life.
*I have a crappy car that is on its last leg. rubbing in the fact that I'm a poor nobody
So there you have it .. be honest ... if you saw me would you think I'm a failure at this thing society calls the norm... or the expected life.
sorry for this long depressing rant but its just how I feel right now and I don't have anyone to talk to but my trusty ol blog. I"m sure this will all be much clearer in the morning, BUT for now I feel like my life has been a bit of a dull failure.. and that I haven't helped or changed or even influenced the lives around me.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
INSANITY
Can I say that my life is crazy ? ! Good glad to get that out there. :) I'm well into the 3rd week of classes and I"m pretty sure its going to be a crazy bumpy ride. I was silly and thought I could make some major life changes in the middle of a school year ... yeah I'm feeling the pinch now... its just a lil crazy.
~I've packed up my old place (took FOREVER) lol
~Moved into my new place (3 flights of stairs folks)
~Added a new class on top of my already full time aka 16 credits baby ! (can I say I'll be busy ?? )
~Got an interview for a new part time job( at a Dr. Office)
~Start my new part time job (next week)!!
~ I've been living on Yogurt, cereal, salsa/chips, and almonds (can I say I"m poor and haven't gone grocery shopping in a MONTH) .. or longer :(
~Had a financial aid scare ! .. it took 6 HOURS to fix it so I had all my ducks in a row to pay for school(almost had to drop out of school) = SCARY
~Had the muffler break on my car PLUS a few other problems with my car aka its leaking Oil SOMEHOW !
~HOMEWORe,HOMEWORK,HOMEWORK
~Projects GALORE !
~OH and coordinating my BIG family photo-shoot coming up in about a week and a half( SOO excited !! pictures to come !!! )
~AND to top it off I"m trying to lose 23 lbs and going to the gym 5 days a week..... I will say that going to the gym has been slacking .. :( and I"m feeling it people !! :P I need to get back there !!!!!
~So yeah that is just a taste of the insanity thats going on in my life !!
SO FAR :
~I've packed up my old place (took FOREVER) lol
~Moved into my new place (3 flights of stairs folks)
~Added a new class on top of my already full time aka 16 credits baby ! (can I say I'll be busy ?? )
~Got an interview for a new part time job( at a Dr. Office)
~Start my new part time job (next week)!!
~ I've been living on Yogurt, cereal, salsa/chips, and almonds (can I say I"m poor and haven't gone grocery shopping in a MONTH) .. or longer :(
~Had a financial aid scare ! .. it took 6 HOURS to fix it so I had all my ducks in a row to pay for school(almost had to drop out of school) = SCARY
~Had the muffler break on my car PLUS a few other problems with my car aka its leaking Oil SOMEHOW !
~HOMEWORe,HOMEWORK,HOMEWORK
~Projects GALORE !
~OH and coordinating my BIG family photo-shoot coming up in about a week and a half( SOO excited !! pictures to come !!! )
~AND to top it off I"m trying to lose 23 lbs and going to the gym 5 days a week..... I will say that going to the gym has been slacking .. :( and I"m feeling it people !! :P I need to get back there !!!!!
~So yeah that is just a taste of the insanity thats going on in my life !!
Friday, September 7, 2012
Exciting stuff .. aka MOVING
If I have already told you all that I am a girl with a gypsy soul I am sorry but I need to say it again... I am BEYOND excited that I have moved again lets than 8 months in my last place ... it seems I can't stay in the same house for more than a year for the most part... anyway I especially excited because I get to paint my room and I've NEVER gotten to do that before soooo here is some ideas I have for my room thus far.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
About that......
SO..... I've officially come to that place in my life where I'm tired of the way my body is. I'm really out of shape and have gained weight, so I am finally starting the war against fat. Its going to be a REALLY hard road, but I know that as long as I work hard I"ll get the results I'm looking for. Soo in honor of my new journey.... I have hit the pinterest up for some inspiration. !! ENJOY
PS... I also will be avoiding posting any kind of food things at least till I figure the whole diet and exercise thing.
Ok thats all everyone ....... :)
PS... I also will be avoiding posting any kind of food things at least till I figure the whole diet and exercise thing.
Ok thats all everyone ....... :)
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Out of the LOOP
Lately I'm feeling like there is some sort of epidemic going on out there. :) I mean don't get me wrong its exciting... but I am most definitly feeling a bit out of the loop. EVERYONE I know seems to be either getting engaged,married, or having a baby. I don't even have a boyfriend and many of these people are younger than me(crazy right?? )
Anyway thought I'd let you all know that 2012 is the year to get married/ have a baby.. in case you didn't know .. haha :)
I am Very happy for all my friends who are having all this LIFE excitement. It is teaching me that My timing isn't always the same as GOd's timing. and I know when I'm meant to meet that great guy God will arrange it( not without me being apart of it of course) I have to do my part too. A dear friend once told me that whenever I get discouraged thinking my life was going too slow or not down the path "I" thought it should be on I should say this.
I think this is a sweet saying, its also a great reminder that God really does know best and wants the best for me and even though I feel a bit lost at the moment as to where my life should be headed,( should I make a cross country move or stay where I'm at) I can TRUST that GOd knows what he's doing I just need to TRUST him .... let me tell you this is EASIER SAID THAN DONE.... :) ok thats all for today.
Anyway thought I'd let you all know that 2012 is the year to get married/ have a baby.. in case you didn't know .. haha :)
I am Very happy for all my friends who are having all this LIFE excitement. It is teaching me that My timing isn't always the same as GOd's timing. and I know when I'm meant to meet that great guy God will arrange it( not without me being apart of it of course) I have to do my part too. A dear friend once told me that whenever I get discouraged thinking my life was going too slow or not down the path "I" thought it should be on I should say this.
"When God is ready I'm Ready" ~A friend
I think this is a sweet saying, its also a great reminder that God really does know best and wants the best for me and even though I feel a bit lost at the moment as to where my life should be headed,( should I make a cross country move or stay where I'm at) I can TRUST that GOd knows what he's doing I just need to TRUST him .... let me tell you this is EASIER SAID THAN DONE.... :) ok thats all for today.
I also must leave you with this lil picture that made me laugh today :)
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