Change

         As this semester comes to an end I am always surprised at how much I've changed and learned over these last 3 months or so. I will say I am very tired and stressed with only 3 weeks of school left but I know I will finish strong.

        This summer I know there will be a LOT of changes happening in my life now I can't really talk about all of them right now because some are still taped to my "drawing board" so to speak. However when I confirm that they will become a reality I will be excited to tell you all about it.

         Until then I am going to sit back and relax after the 3 mile Run/ walk I just finished. I am really proud of myself I started running about a month ago and am down to an 11 minute mile and my goal is a 9 minute mile so I have a ways to go but I'm on the right track. :)

          Here are some Inspirational things I've run across these last few weeks 

CAPTURE my HEART

             Have you ever been to a place where you feel so ALIVE ?  Have you ever had a moment where you feel as though your heart has just been CAPTURED ?   I have, and that moment is when I am in NYC. This place takes me to a place where I have never been, it challenges me to discover and allow life to play out before my eyes.

taken by yours truly

       
 Walking the streets in the city makes me believe in so many things, PASSION,hope, adventure. If you have never been to this amazing place please take a moment and experience it. You will NEVER be the same, and if you are like me it will capture a piece of your heart and when you leave you leave a piece of your heart and eventually the more you come the more your heart stays and then your heart will be completely taken by the city and you will be destined to live there until you find all the pieces of your heart. This is how I feel about the city and I feel my heart slowly falling in LOVE with this place where diversity is rampant and culture is dropped into your lap whether you want it to be or not.  You WILL fall in love, and you WILL embrace the insanity of living moment by moment and learning from every step you take down the old broken up sidewalk littered with many different sites and sounds.

PURPOSE

         Source: marathonsweetheart.com via Alyssa on Pinterest

Yeah Its been one of those mornings, I had a jam packed weekend and now I have a 12 hour workday followed by Mid-term study.... there is a Happy ending to this day though I am  going out for wings with my girlfriends... Que. *HAPPY DANCE*   oh and my BESTIE  brought me a Starbucks mocha at work ! LOVE her!!  

I am BLESSED that is what I"m living by today. !! BE THANKFUL for each BEAT of your BEAUTIFUL  HEART.

BE GOOD

Source: Uploaded by user via FeeFee,RN on Pinterest

So it has begun ... the month of OCTOBER, I can't believe its here already.  I personally don't have any significant life moments that have happened to me over the years in this month .. but I'd like to say its never to late to start.  So let this be a FANTASTIC October and let me learn great things ! <3

Thats right ! :)

Source: repinly.com via Valerie on Pinterest

Frustrated and uncertain

                  Source: oprah.com via Nizhoni on Pinterest

I'm sure you can guess from the title of this post that I am a bit unsettled tonight.  Mainly because I am frustrated with my past present and future ! ... I look at my past and say to myself Amber you have wasted your youth.. you don't have a degree and your 23 years old, Your a failure according to this society.  Quite honestly I don't really know what I want to do professionally...  you want to know the honest truth... I want to be an artist and a stay at home wife... and eventually a mother. I also want to have a ministry to young guys in the military.  I mean if you were looking at me and didn't know who I was or my personality you would say that I'm a loser, I haven't finished a degree or trade.

I've more or less dabbled in many areas of life. from pottery ,wedding photographer, camp counselor, to a restaurant slave.   I feel as though I have failed in this society.  Living on my own paying my own bills is hard , and its not easy figuring out what you want to do with your life when your just trying to survive day to day.

To the world I am a over all reject.

*I don't have a relationship and none on the horizon
*I don't have a career set in stone, nor do I have a clue as to what I truly want to settle in.
*I don't have a degree of any sort ( like nothing...)
*I've been a perpetual college student with no fancy piece of paper telling the world I have accomplished something in life.
*I have a crappy car  that is on its last leg. rubbing in the fact that I'm a poor nobody


So there you have it .. be honest ... if you saw me would you think I'm a failure at this thing society calls the norm... or the expected life.

sorry for this long depressing rant but its just how I feel right now and I don't have anyone to talk to but my trusty ol blog.   I"m sure this will all be much clearer in the morning, BUT for now I feel like my life has been a bit of a dull failure.. and that I haven't helped or changed or even influenced the lives around me.